I was so excited about this, I thought I should post it here as well:


The Pullip Blog Crew

So I'm reading over this LJ fight I had with some freshie awhile back.

God, how stupid was that? I mean, seriously, what was the point? Yeah, it was good for a laugh, but I mean, how immature can you be? Who picks a fight over a goddamn poem?

Yay! Only 180 days until I graduate! Then I'm free of high school FOREVER! It's not that I don't like these people, it's just that I'm tired of it all. It's time for a change. New faces, new places...(LONDON 2008!!!!!!) It's time to spread my wings and fly.

I'll miss it. But I won't long for it.

I went to see Phantom of the Opera last night -- IT WAS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I absolutely loved it. I highly recommend it.

And we were 17 rows from the stage. Hell, yes.

Okay, Phantom has a four week run with eight shows every week. Not to mention the theatre seats at least 800 people. You would think that the odds of running into someone you know are pretty slim, right?

THINK AGAIN.

Not only does my brother run into one of his friends, but we see Josh.

WITH RACHAEL.

WHOSE HATE FOR ME RIVALS THAT OF PALESTINIANS TOWARDS THE JEWS.

Anyways, I waved to Josh. Rachael probably thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend with that wave. Because, you know, that's what I do.

NOT.

SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They suspended it. This is crap. It's my Senior year, for God's sake. THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So. My school district has a final exempt policy where if you miss two or less days of school per semester (and have at least a "C" in each class), you don't have to take finals. Well....

THEY SUSPENDED THE POLICY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I mean, okay, I can understand that. They're reviewing the somewhat controversial policy, because, let's face it, it does have its faults.

But I mean, it's my Senior year. I shouldn't have to take ALL my finals (I already have to take three one semester, two the next).

I understand, really. I'm not some rebel without a clue. Some high schoolers do go the entire four (or five, whatever) without taking a single final. And that's not condusive to what college classes will be like.

But the thing is, it's an incentive for us to go to school (I personally wouldn't skip school, but I know some kids who don't skip school because they don't want to take finals). Plus, we have to take finals if we're in college credit classes anyway. And I know, most kids aren't in college credit classes. But to those of us who are, this suspended policy isn't fair. We work our ASSES off studying for these college credit finals. If we have to add our underwater basketweaving classes to the mix, we'll have no time for anything.

The thing is, requiring students to take finals would not be such a bad idea if the finals our school gave were in any way similar to college finals. But they aren't. They are ridiculously easy multiple choice tests, and the teacher spoon-feeds you the answers. Um, in college, they don't review, and your final is an essay test. Or a project. How is taking a final in Cardiovascualar Fitness Walking going to help you in college? Furthermore, what about classes where most of your grade is from projects or labs? You know, like art and FACS. And band and choir? Hello, how fair is it if you do everything you're supposed to do in that class and your grade drops to a "B" because of that stupid-ass final you really don't NEED to take.

Not that my grades have really ever been dependent on doing well on the final. I mean, I needed a 45 on my Precalc final to keep an "A." So it's not my grade I'm worried about. It's the stupidity of the whole mess.

You know what? They should just revise the damn policy--I talked to a kid at MSA and his school's policy is similar to what I'm about to propose. Say, if you only miss two days of school, you get to opt out of one final. If you have a 3.5 to a 3.99, you get to opt out of two finals. And if you have a 4.0 or better, you get to opt out of three finals. Of course, college credit classes notwithstanding. Everyone is still required to take finals, but this plan would keep a lot of kids still (begrudingly) coming to school, and it would reward students who do well in school (and who obviously don't need to take crap finals).

The final point? Attendance is going WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY down next year.


And my good news?

I GOT A 33 ON MY ACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

33 BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention a PERFECT score on the reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I tell you or what? I kicked ACT ASS!!!!!!!!!! Just a word of advice:

June is WAY easier than December.

Slutface, I fixed it. Read to your heart's content.

By the way....
(Not counting today)

1 YEAR, 2 MONTHS, AND 6 DAYS UNTIL WE GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're right.

I don't need to justify myself to you, especially if you're not willing to reveal who you are.

I am confident in myself and who I am as a person. I don't need validation or acceptance from some random soul on the internet.

I can't take anything you say seriously. You contradict left and right, you're defensive, then playful. I don't know where you're coming from. You tell me how to act, yet you don't even know me. You say you didn't reveal your identity because you didn't want me to judge what you said based on who you are. Well, by NOT revealing your identity, you did just that. That's the nature of the beast. I can't respect someone who won't own his or her thoughts.

There are more important things in life to worry about than what some person (who doesn't have enough courage to face me head on) thinks of me.

I'm happy with myself. I love my faults, my sense of humor, my imagination, my moments of utter mortification. And yes, as much as I try, I do judge people. But I'm not sorry for that either. I won't apologize for being human.

So you can think what you want about me. Cause I don't give a fuck anymore.

Point Une: I believe that you created this screen name (on LJ particularly) for two reasons: a) you chose not to tell me who you were; you hide behind your screen name instead of facing me head on and admitting who you are and b)the one public entry in your journal reads: "i have fullfilled the job of this screen name. IT HAS BEEN DONE! this will be my last post forever unless another job comes up soon..." This entry was posted on February 19, as was your original comment to me. Those things lead me to believe you created this persona just to comment here. And yes, making an assumption about the screen name is EXACTLY the same as you making assumptions about my character based on one poem I wrote and hearsay.

NOT.

Point Deux: The mysterious she? You probably know who it is--on your second comment you said you thought I believed your name began with an "m" or an "l." The she is the "m."

Point Trois: You know why I made the comment about "IM-Speak?" BECAUSE I CAN BARELY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. Seriously. It's like reading a foreign lanuage. And writing in proper English doesn't make you sound sixty. It makes you sound coherent.

Point Quatre: You said yourself, don't believe everything you hear. Yes, I may make comments about underclassmen. But most of those are made in the most faceitous, sarcastic way possible. I don't mean all of them--I love to tease people (in jest) and be sarcastic. Some of them, yes, I do mean. But once you get to be an upperclassmen, you do understand just how immature the underclassmen can be. I'm not going to apologize for what I may have said, because I REFUSE to apologize for my thoughts.

Point Cinq: My poem was judging people, yes. But not individuals. It was judging an idea people hold, the [mob] mentality of high school sports. And by the way, poetry is how I deal with things. I've learned that the only person who can truly heal you is yourself. Poetry is my medicine. And laughing at me? It makes your point look weak, because it totally contradicts what you said about not making fun of people.

Point Six: No, you don't know me. Do you know what kind of shit I've put up with for the past two and a half years? My heart has been broken and my trust has been betrayed more times than I would have liked. I've been used, backstabbed, and talked about behind my back. And I don't regret a thing. Did you know that? Probably not. Judging me based on a few comments you've heard from or about me is inaccurate. Actions speak louder than words. And I don't think being older is the whole world. In fact, I'm the youngest of almost all my close friends. I'm the youngest in my family. I know what it's like to be younger. So maybe I do put some weight on being older than somebody, but only because it's my only opportunity to feel older and wiser.

Point Sept: Multiple sources do not constitute a well balanced opinion. The only way to form a TRUE opinion about someone is to spend some time with them and actually get to know them. It's nice to know I'm so well disliked, though.

Point Huit: Like I said before, I wasn't attacking you. I was commenting on an ideal I found distasteful. So maybe individuals inspired some aspects of the poem, but it wasn't a poem directed at any one person or group of people.

Point Neuf: The purpose of my poem wasn't to attack or bash people. Like I said before, I heal through poetry. It helps me work through my feelings. So what if the result is crap? WRITING the poem is the point. And I'm well aware my journal is public domain. But I've long since stopped caring what people think of me. I'm not going to censor myself for fear of hurting somebody's feelings. If I want to bash people with my poetry, I'll do it. Nobody has any right to tell me what I can and cannot write. It's called the First Amendment. Putting my thoughts in harm-proof terms would defeat the point of even saying them in the first place.

Finally, I wish you had said all this to my face, or at least revealed your identity because I would have respected it so much more.
I'm not going to guess who you are. If you really wanted me to know, you would have told me. Are you afraid of me? Of what I'll think of you? Of what I'd do if I found out who you are? Why else would you hide in the shadows?

Dear burger_brainz:

Point the First: I know you did not call me stupid. I was merely implying that one little screen name won't keep me from discovering your identity.

Point the Second: Just because you aren't who I originally thought (although you may be...) does not make me want to recant my statements. I still wish you had said those things to my face, or at least used your real screen name. Creating a screen name solely for the purpose of saying those things is sad. I know approximately who you are, or at least who you hang out with. Because only two people knew about this journal, and I'm betting that one of them led you to my journal. Maybe she even put you up to it.

Point the Third: If you are going to comment back, use proper English. "IM-speak" makes you look immature.

Point the Fourth: Do you honestly think I'm so pretentious that I wouldn't talk to an underclassman? I sit with one at lunch. I talk to several on a daily basis. I'm not the type of person who thinks that underclassmen are the scum of the earth. I judge people on their characters and personalities. Judging somebody just on age is ridiculous. Underclassmen can be mature. Upperclassmen can be immature. I have firsthand experience with both.

And Point the Fifth: Since you say you aren't who I think you are, I have this to say: You have NO RIGHT to judge me. You don't even KNOW me. One observation of me at a basketball game I didn't really want to be at doesn't come anywhere close to constituting a psychoanalysis. What you heard about me from HER is only her side of the story. And she dislikes me, I know that for sure. But have you ever had a conversation with me? A deep, meaningful one? No, I'm guessing not. So don't call my brain "muddled." Don't judge my thoughts and actions when you don't even know where they're coming from. You don't know who I am or where I've been. Maybe I made a poor first impression, but that gives you NO RIGHT to attack my thoughts and feelings, and even, in an offhand way, my personality.

Which brings me to my question--if you don't know me, then why did you find it necessary to write a poetic diatribe to me?

burger_brainz--

I know who you are. Did you honestly think that one little screen name would keep me from finding out?

What a lovely poem. I'm glad I inspired you. You have every right to your opinion, as I have every right to mine.

I just wish you didn't have to hide behind a screen name to write it. I would have respected it more.

I'm beginning to wonder if I should change the name of the journal. I love the "It's Me Manifesto" title, but I don't know if I believe it. I've lost one friend, then another, then another. But I haven't lost myself. If anything, I've gained more of myself. I've learned how to live on my own, how to be happy on my own. And for that I'm glad.

Wow. That's deep.

Especially for how tired I am.

Infantile screams
Jeers with no identity of their own
Jabs with karmic properties
Pseudonyms with no purpose
Chants with voodoo attached


And that's all I have so far. It's based off the basketball game tonight: South vs. West. We lost, but me being the school-spiritless (somewhat) person I am, I don't care. It's just a basketball game. Who cares if we lost? The sun will rise tomorrow. The earth won't open up and swallow us. Sure, I got into the game and all, but in two days will this really matter? Nope.

And that, my friend, is why I'm so ready for college.

What's this? Another poem coming on?

The universe around you
But you think you aren't spoiled
You think you're old
But you're actually young
No need to bust an eardrum
No need to showboat
You say you don't want attention
But you do everything to get it
You can't hide from the past
You can't say it all was a lie
While it was going on
You were infatuated
You were happy
You were content
You act as if what you say goes
Your view is the only one
But you know what
You're wrong
You've yet to see that
When someone gives you something
You don't know how to take it
No one will be as willing
To change who they are
To drop everything to appease you
The bubble needs to burst
And it will
Reality is what things are
Not what you want them to be
When the world hits you
It's going to hurt


Whoa! Where did that come from? I've never written anything like that nonstop. That was pretty sweet. I know what it's about, and that's all that Matters, isn't it?

Okay, so the one thing I hate more than anything is angsty, my-life-is-crap posts. This is not such a post, even though it may seem like one. It's not! I swear!

I just went perusing other people's journals and saw that they all go out with friends everyday and "hang out." I don't. Now don't get me wrong, I hang out with my friends, but very infrequently. But the thing is, I don't feel like going out with friends all that often. I like staying home and reading or watching tv. Does that make me abnormal? Or have I matured past the party-every-day stage? Or maybe I just skipped that stage altogether.

I guess I always start to feel this way on Christmas/Spring/Summer Break. Like I'm alone and nobody cares about me. But I guess I have to learn that people do care about me. Even if people don't call, they care. Even if they don't give me gifts, they care. I have to trust, and I have to learn that life isn't always about the material, nonsensical things.

A true friend isn't one who goes to movies with you or gives you a kick-ass Christmas gift. A true friend is a person you can talk to when you're feeling lonely. They can give you advice.

I'm in an in-between stage in friendships. Part of me wants to get close to people, but part of me says: you're leaving for college in a year and half. Why bother?

But I'm leaving in a year and a half. Why spend the next eighteen months alone?

Dear ACT people--
I need a 31 to get Bright Flight. I would like a 33 for a full ride.

BUT WHY MUST YOU MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET AT LEAST A 30?!?!?!?!?!?

Seriously, I would like to know what High School student can comprehend and apply information about fiscal policy in 30 minutes or less. Honestly. And it's not like we didn't have three other selections to read!

And I totally would have gotten my 31 if not for that stupid fiscal policy section. Who the hell cares about fiscal policy?

I had 90th percentile or higher on EVERY OTHER SECTION except that stupid science/social studies reading section. Stupid 76th percentile.

I will avenge my deplorable score of 29. Come June, I will kick the ACT's ass.

Sincerely,
Allison

Considering my *small* obsession with Dominic Monaghan, this is most appropriate.

Merry Brandybuck If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Merry, Hobbit, heir of the Brandybucks and a friend of Frodo's. In the movie, I am played by Dominic Monaghan. Who would you be? Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

I just finished watching the first season of Boy Meets World, and I just had to change the title of my journal from "Outspoken/Too Loud: Don't let the fear contain you" to "It's Me Manifesto: Lose one friend. Lose all friends. Lose yourself."

It's from the sixth or seventh season, when everybody gets into a fight and they do the flash-forward to Mr. Feeny's retirement. Eric comes back as a hermit (Playswith Squirrels), and he pulls out a book. "It's me manifesto." It's this HUGE book about 2000 pages long, and only the first page has something written on it. It says "Lose one friend. Lose all friends. Lose yourself." It's really cool. Plus, Kevin and I quote it all the time:

Mr. Feeny: "Mr. Matthews?"

Eric: "Mr. Squirrels."

Cory: "Eric?"

Mr. Feeny: "Playswith."

It's probably one of our favorite episodes, right up there with "Hair Today, Goon Tomorrow" in which the immortal song is sung.

"When a crime breaks out, all the cute shout: 'It's the good-lookin guy!' When there's a crime out there, he's gonna comb his hair 'cause he's the good-lookin guy! Book 'em good-lookin."

For those of you who don't know, I got a job at JC Penney. I started yesterday. I'm quitting tomorrow. And this event is related to my experiences at MSA.

At MSA, we all learned (even if we haven't realized it yet) to be more in touch with our feelings and who we are and not to let anybody else define us. We should follow our hearts and dreams, regardless of what others may say about our ambitions. We cannot be hindered by anybody but ourselves, and we must persevere through those hinderances.

For the longest time, I wanted a job. I thought I needed money, and that money would add to my happiness. But upon reflection of the matter, I've realized that even if I do make money, I'm not going to be happier. Stuff is just stuff. It's nice to have, yes, but it most certainly is not necessary. My mother always said that 16-year-olds don't need jobs, and I've always disagreed with her. But now I'm seeing her side of the argument. A job will bring me money, yes, but it certainly won't leave me happier or validated.

I'm going to have a very full plate this year, scholastically speaking. School has always been my first priority. Over the past few days, I've realized that there is no way that I will be able to juggle a job and the schoolwork I'll have. It just won't work.

And what will a job add to my life, I wondered. So far, all it has added is stress and feelings of being overwhelmed. Is that truly worth it for a few extra spending dollars?

No, it's not. The simple fact is, I'm happy now, without a job. I'm happy being a bum. I have great friends who love me no matter my working status. So what if I'm different from the other kids in school? So what if they have a job and I don't? So what if they have cars and I don't? I'll ride the bus my Senior year, if that's the price of my happiness. Of course, bumming rides is always an option :)

It is because of MSA that I was able to realize that what everybody says you need isn't what you personally need. Everybody says you need a job at 16. No, you don't. You don't have bills to pay or mouths to feed. So what if you can't get that Hollister sweater--Wal-Mart has a clothing department.

By no means am I ragging on those of you who have jobs. For you, it may be the perfect fit. My brother loves his job and he is happier now because of his job. His college roommate is a former co-worker of his. He takes pride in his accomplishments at work--and in the fact that he knows how to do his job well. Also, he feels cool when he kicks ruffians out of the theatre, but that's a different story.

So really, this all comes down to knowing yourself and what you want. And I think MSA taught us all about that.

*****MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD***********


*****MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD***********


*****MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD***********


*****MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD***********


Yes. I am a nerd. I finished Half-Blood Prince at about 2:00 this afternoon, and I give it an awesome +9 (out of ten). Minus one only because Dumbledore dies, and that just sucks all the way around. Definitely one of the better books of the series, though, and it only took me about eight hours.

I must say: Rowling is a genius. She has created another wonderful tale of a magical teenager and his friends. I can definitely say I related to the characters more in this book than in any other--mainly because I am the exact same age. Always it has been that I was younger than Harry (with the exception of when I read the 1st book in 5th grade), and it has been kind of difficult to relate to the personal problems of the teenagers in the books. But with this book, I totally understood. Things that happen between Harry and his friends have actually happened to me in real life---and that alone proves that Rowling doesn't idolize her characters--she makes them human, gives them faults.

And speaking of relationships...in your FACE, Harry/Hermione shippers! No, I'm really not a crazy shipper like that. But I am an avid supporter of Hermione/Ron, and in this book, there's enough of that to go around. I've also loved Ginny/Harry too, and that finally is made canon. Yes! I'm glad there's finally relationships in the books now. There was a little bit of that in previous books, with Harry and Cho and Hermione and Viktor, but not enough to really satify readers 14+, who enjoy that mushy romance stuff. Plus, it was unrealistic: a school full of teenagers and nobody hooked up yet? That would never happen.

As for the death of Dumbledore...I was certainly depressed. I finished the book and felt depressed. And who totally caught the Spider-man-esque breakup of Ginny and Harry? Come on, that exact scene was at the end of Spider-man: Peter Parker tells Mary Jane he can't be with her because he has a dangerous job to do. At a FUNERAL. See? Harry has to hunt down and destroy the Horcruxes (danger +11), and he doesn't want to endanger Ginny's life, much like Peter had to fight evil and he didn't want to endanger MJ's life. Coincidence? I think not.

Speaking of coincidences, Pygmy Puffs? Totally tribbles from Star Trek, minus the asexual rapid-breeding.

Genius moment of the novel: Although I think it hampered the beginning a bit, the scene with Narcissa, Snape, and Bellatrix is brilliant. (I just think two chapters sans Harry and the gang at the beginning of the novel really slows the start of the novel. It felt like it took forever to get started.) Knowing the end of the novel, you can totally appreciate why Rowling put this scene in the beginning. I, personally, have always been wary of Snape's allegiance, but I never really doubted that he was on the good side. When I first read chapter two, I thought "Okay, this chapter is in here to show that Snape is in with Voldemort, but he's doing it as a spy for the good side." And so throughout the book, when Harry is suspicious of Malfoy and Snape, I never thought that Snape was actually on the bad side. As you come to find out in the final chapters, he is. After I finished reading, I realized that Rowling WANTED you to think that Snape was on the good side spying on the dark side the whole time. You were unsuspecting, always wondering he would jump in and help the good guys. And when he didn't and killed Dumbledore, it made that scene so much more powerful/surprising/shocking. You didn't think he'd actually do it. But he did. I have to say though, as important as that surprise was, it could have been done better.

What I mean by that is this: The mystery of Snape's allegiance is important for dramatic effect. But so is foreshadowing. And while Rowling out and out SAYS Snape is on the dark side and the beginning of the book, I doubt many readers actually think that is the case when they read chapter two. Throughout the previous five books, Rowling has made a point of reiterating the fact that although Snape was evil at one time, he has now reformed. Harry is suspicious of course, but the protagonist needs a visible antagonist (Snape) as well as a foreboding, nonvisible one (Voldemort). Through the rest of book 6, there is almost no foreshadowing to indicate Snape's treachery. In a novel, especially one of this length and grandeur, nothing should happen without an adequate amount of foreshadowing. To be honest, I've read better bad-guy-turned-good-turned-bad. Meg Cabot's Twilight is an excellent bad-guy-reformed novel, if you're interested.

All in all, this was a great novel. MUCH better than Order of the Phoenix. I'll admit it: I don't like Order of the Phoenix. WAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too angsty. Plus, it moved at an alarmingly slow pace. Also, there was no foreshadowing for the main event of the story--the incident at the Ministry. In all the other books (including 6), there has been a substansial amount of foreshadowing as to what the climax of the story will be. Plus, too many side-stories. I think Rowling realized this, and subsequently, HBP is shorter. What I do like about order of the Phoenix is the introduction of Tonks and just how much Sirius there is! Don't get me wrong, I like all of the books, but OotP is my least favorite.

Prisoner of Azkaban remains my favorite of the series, for my standard reason. In any fantasy series, my favorite book is almost always the one that is off the beaten path from the MAIN conflict of the series. In PoA, they're not fighting Voldemort. In fact, the Harry/Voldemort struggle is hardly mentioned. It's all about Sirius Black, and it's a nice distraction from the main conflict before the series heats up and dives right into the meat and potatoes of the series. For example, in the Pit Dragon Trilogy by Jane Yolen, my favorite book is the third novel, which is not about dragon fighting like the previous two books, but about surviving in a completely strange and frightening culture. It's awesome, I love it.

HBP is your typical, second-to-last-book-of-the-series book. It sets up the plot for the final book so that you have a pretty good idea of what the character is doing until the fated final showdown (obviously the climax of the book). Of course, there will be surprises we don't know about, but essentially, we have a pretty good idea of what's going to go on in the final book. Also in the typical second-to-last-book-of-the-series book, the author gives you a plethora of things to speculate about. Not that the series (particularly in Harry Potter's case) hasn't given you enought to speculate already, but the author usually gives you little questions and mysteries to ponder while waiting for the next book. A prophecy (what's a fantasy book without a prophecy? Even Harry Potter has one) is a typical method of authors throwing out things to speculate. For example, in the Guardians of Time trilogy, there is a prophecy that speaks of nine Named ones, and after reading the first book, not all of the identities of the Named are revealed, so you're left to speculate, which is actually quite fun.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is an excellent addition to the series, and I heartily recommend it.

TINKERBELL!!!!! New sparkly icon.....

Because I'm not I thief and I give credit where credit is due...